Give us a Clue

GIVE US A CLUE
Made by: Thames Shown on: ITV Years shown: 1978-1992

Theme tune: "Did Elvis sing it?/Or Basie swing it?/Old song or new?/Give us a Clue!/Has Spielberg made it?/Have actors played it?/In theatres too?/ Give Us A Clue!/Does TV show it?/Do bookworms know it?/One word or two?/Give Us A Clue!/Give Us A Clue!/Give Us A Clue!"

Not a kids show as such, but one which used to either precede or follow the children’s line-up, and for some reason made quite compelling viewing. I think part of the fun for me was that it was always a challenge to work out was going on. Basically, Give Us a Clue was charades with minor celebrities, which made for cheap and limitless material, a bit like Call My Bluff in that repsect. Michael Aspel was the original emcee, presiding over girls’ and boys’ teams, captained by the Lionel Blair (who I used to think was Cliff Richard, and who my fiance claims has no arse - not that he would know) and Una Stubbs. Liza Goddard was brought in to succeed Stubbs when she left, and Aspel was replaced by Michael Parkinson, who was a little tougher on the competitors, and who would give the girl’s team clues to help them win. It was dreadful, and full of pastel jumpers, jackets rolled up to the sleeves and teamed with jeans, and pixie-boots for the ladies, but if you were a D-list celebrity, it was the place to be seen.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 4/10

(Thanks to www.ukgameshows.com for the borrowed pic)

Gimme 5

GIMME 5
Made by: Tyne Tees
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1992-4

“What can we do for kids on a Saturday morning which will cost under £1.65?” wondered the folks at Tyne Tees. Gimme 5 was all they could come up with, made all the more cheaper by the fact that it was all filmed ‘on location’ (by a canal in Hartlepool or at a garden centre in Peterlee) and needed no permanent set. As is required for Saturday morning kids’ shows by some kind of strange bye-law (probably), they bought up some cheapo cartoons, a vat of gunge, and brought in some low-rent pop guests to interview. The presenters came and went, the most notable of which was ‘top TV totty’ (according to FHM and the like) Jenny Powell, but the most irritating remained - Nobby the Sheep. The kids loved him, apparently. Yeah, with mint sauce.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 1/10

(Thanks to the website of puppeteer Simon Barkley, aka Nobby the Sheep, for the borrowed pic)

The Get-Along Gang

THE GET-ALONG GANG
Made by: CBS
Shown on: ITV?
Years shown: 1984-6
Theme tune: “The Get-Along Gang, Get-Along Gang/Each one is special in his own way/Montgomery’s the leader, and he’s such a good sport (?)/The Get-Along Gang, Get-Along Gang”

Apparently based on a series of children’s greetings cards, The Get-Along Gang was about a bunch of kids, actually cute animals in clothes, who were all wildly different in temperament, but, hey, still managed to get along and play nicely. Montgomery Moose was the group’s default leader, with a tendency to be clumsy; Woolma Lamb was vain and Dotty Dog was careless, and among the other tarnished heroes were Portia Porcupine, Bingo Beaver, Zipper Cat and Braker Turtle. They were watched over by Police Officer Growler, and got into very low-cal adventures which tended to involve a lot of team-work, necessitating each character making use of the skills that make them so ‘unique’. Someone pass the bucket. There were the mandatory easily-defeatable villains too, in this case Catchum Crocodile and Leland Lizard. I remember some heavy merchandising going on, and I have a feeling that I had a small plastic Montgomery Moose figure, with a blue and yellow painted-on sweater - I do hope so.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 2/10

(Thanks to wikipedia for the borrowed pic)