Theme tune: “Doyle was the high school star/Everybody thought he’d go real far/But he didn’t get the things from the classes he took/You know, he just wasn’t interested in his books/Aimee was the smartest girl in school/Not very popular, not very cool/Two kids will be chosen from earth to go to school at Galaxy High/Travelling millions of miles through space/To go to school in a far off place/Aimee is the sweetheart, Doyle’s got a lot to learn/Here at Galaxy High!”
There have been few programmes which have obsessed me as much as the cartoon Galaxy High, the basic plot of which was explained in the opening title theme by ex-Eagles rocker, Don Felder. Doyle Cleverlobe was the handsome jock, who had the adoration of all the girls in high school; Aimee was the bookworm he barely knew. How two kids from the same school ended up as earth’s representatives at Galaxy High is not really explained, but the pair were whisked off in an the intergalactic taxi of the amoebic cabbie, Ollie, and deposited on the asteroid, Flotor, where the high school was situated.
One of the greatest thing about this sadly short-lived cartoon series, which was the brain-child of movie director Chris Columbus, was that the creators just let their imaginations run wild with the characters. Miss Biddy McBrain was the firm-but-fair headmistress, whose bulbous head contained a lightbulb; Professor Icenstein was the science master, blue, with icicles hanging from him; and Luigi LaBounci was a tiny, bouncing Italian chef who ran Luigi’s Pizza, the only viable alternative to the school cafeteria.
Then, there were the kids. Doyle discovered that his Mr Popular status back on earth holds no weight in Galaxy High, and he was forced to work hard in order to gain respect, and struggled to learn zugelball (a futuristic kind of hand-ball), taught by Coach Frogface. Instead of hanging out with the in-crowd, Doyle was befriended by tubby Milo DeVenus, who looked human apart from the fact that he had multiple arms; he was anything but cool, but proved a firm friend. Also tagging along was two dimensional Freddy, and The Creep, a yellow flying thing with a penchant for singing, who was hopelessly in love with Aimee. Their arch enemies were the Bonk Bunch, a group of bully-boys led by Beef Bonk, who resembled some kind of giant rooster; his sidekicks were Earl Eccchhh (a small piece of green slime) and Rotten Roland, a grotesque being covered in rotten eggs.
Aimee Brightower, however, had no problem making friends at all - her intelligence and integrity was lauded, and she became the school pin-up. Her best friends were dizzy Booey Bubblehead, whose head resembled a bubble-gum bubble, and Gilda Gossip, a girl with half a dozen pairs of lips extending from her face. Gilda had a real thing for Doyle, and her many mouths made it extremely difficult for him to evade her attacks. There was also the enigmatic Wendy Garbo, a beautiful elfin girl, who clearly didn’t like the threat that Aimee posed to her dominance. Aimee had no problems attracting the opposite sex, and apart from The Creep, who was always literally buzzing around her, there was Reggie Unicycle, a spoilt rich kid who was, yup, half unicycle. She despaired of ever finding someone she could relate to, and when she did once find a guy while on a trip to some interplanetary beach, it turned out that he had a normal sized head, and a minuscule body. Although Aimee and Doyle were mutually suspicious of each other, there were hints of a budding romance on the horizon - but cancellation of the show meant that this was never explored further.
Galaxy High School managed to deal with the tendency for preconceptions, and the whole ‘what’s on the inside counts’ issue, without feeling it was necessary to drive it home with a sledgehammer. It was a crime that cartoons such as this were axed after only 13 episodes, when shows like Saved by the Bell were allowed to pollute young minds for years. Galaxy High also introduced the world to the vocal talents of Nancy Cartwright, the voice of both Gilda and Freddy, who went on to become a certain Bartholomew J. Simpson…
SQUARE EYES RATING: 10/10
(Thanks to www.sausagenet.com for the borrowed pic)
