Chock-a-Block

CHOCK-A-BLOCK
Made by: BBC
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1981

This is one that most children of the eighties seem to forget about, but I thought it was the absolute coolest thing I’d ever seen. The set was supposedly futuristic and of the computer-generation (they had been raiding the Doctor Who props warehouse again), and every week, the presenter would ride into the studio on a little moon-buggy. It was presented either by Carol Leader or Fred Harris (both veterans of Playschool, and obviously contracted to do anything the children’s BBC bosses told them to), and they would alight and then declare ‘Chock-a-girl/Chock-a-bloke checking in!” My memory of the show’s content is a little hazy, but there was much learning of songs by tedious repetition.

At some point, they would insert a huge, chunky videotape into what looked like the Enigma mainframe, and there would be a ‘video’ of sorts, of the presenters gallivanting around in front of an unconvincing backdrop of somewhere like The Grand Canyon. The one thing that I remember most clearly is that one of these videos featured Carol singing ‘The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain’ - this can’t have been on every week? I also remember being quite scared of Fred Harris, who someone unkindly pointed out to me had the same hair as the Yorkshire Ripper - but I think he was just a bit frantic and in-your-face for mid-morning TV.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 8/10

Chigley

CHIGLEY
Made by: Gordon Murray Puppets
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1968 onwards

The final part of the trilogy was set in Chigley, a hamlet “near Camberwick Green, Trumptonshire”, where Lord Belborough ruled the roost at Wingstead Hall, his stately home. Times were hard in Chigley (government centralisation and city boom etc.), so he and his butler Mr Brackett ran a free steam train for the local people. Some of the characters were already familiar, as the inhabitants of Camberwick Green, who had moved to the bright lights of Trumpton, now seemed to be joining the flight to the countryside. There were new faces joining old though. Mr Swallow was in charge of the canal and all the freight that passed through it, and there was also Mr Clamp the grocer, Harry Farthing the potter, Mr Bilton, Belborough’s gardener, and Mr Chutterbuck the builder. Mr Cresswell was the chief at Cresswell’s Chigley Biscuits, the hamlet’s major industry, where, when the whistle blew at six o’clock, the employees would partake in a seemingly compulsory waltz around the courtyard. Finally, there was the gloriously-named Chippy Minton, and his son, Nibbs, who - predictably - were the cheerful carpenters of Chigley.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 5/10

(Thanks to www.telegoons.org for the borrowed pic)

Charlie Chalk

CHARLIE CHALK
Made by: Woodland Animations
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1988-89
Theme tune: "Charlie Chalk, Charlie Chalk/He's got a silly way of walking/A wacky way of talking/Charlie Chalk"

From the same camp as Postman Pat and Bertha came Charlie Chalk, an animation which hit ten on the weird-o-meter, had a theme sung by Ken Barrie, and which I actually found a little disturbing.

The first episode set the scene, and had Charlie, a circus clown, falling asleep in his boat while fishing, and waking up on the island of Merrytwit. Very soon, he decides to make a home there, and he builds himself a beach-hut on wheels, which he can move according to the direction of the sunlight. Merrytwit was like an island of lost souls, with an Alice in Wonderland type selection of unusual creatures and eccentric human beings. There was Edward, a slothful bear/gorilla thing, who wore a straw hat, and was always sleepy; Arnold was a pink elephant, who was both clumsy and stupid; and there was the outgoing Louis T. Duck, who wore a straw boater. The other people present were Captain Mildred, the shore-bound skipper of the marooned ship, Buttercup, who was bossy in the manner of a middle-aged PE teacher; and Trader Jones, mostly beard and glasses, who did exactly as his name suggests.

Then there were the real weirdoes. Litterbug was a beachcomber, forever collecting litter, but what the hell was Bert? Charlie and friends discovered Bert trapped in a cave on the island, when they heard a faint moaning sound - they dug him out, but probably wished they hadn’t bothered. Bert was like a bald eagle in the sense that he was furry from the neck down, but he had the most tiny head, which was pink and oddly foetal looking. Nasty. He didn’t mean any harm, of course, but he unnerved me. At least you knew where you were with Greendale.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 5/10

(Thanks to www.entertainmentrights.com for the borrowed pic - there's irony in there somewhere...)