Spiderman and His Amazing Friends

SPIDERMAN AND HIS AMAZING FRIENDS
Made by: Marvel
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1981-86
Theme tune: “Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can/Look out, here comes the Spiderman!”

Based loosely on the original Marvel comics, and the seventies drama series starring Nick ‘Friedrich in The Sound of Music’ Hammond, this eighties kid-friendly cartoon series was a huge hit, and resulted in an army of small children, myself included, running around in red and blue Spiderman outfits. As the old legend goes, ordinary-joe Peter Parker, was bitten by a radioactive spider, and as a result he was able to turn into crime-fighting wunderkind, Spiderman, able to leap and spin webs just like a real arachnid, and defeat various ne’er-do-wells, such as the Green Goblin (not to be confused with the Green Goddess of TVAM fame.) And his wholesome girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson, was none the wiser. But in this eighties twist, Peter lived in a swish loft apartment with a couple of similarly freakish friends: Bobby Drake was a chisel-jawed hunk who turned into the ultra-cool Iceman, able to surf on the trail of ice he created; and Anjelica Jones was the feisty Firestar, who had pyromaniacal capabilities and spent a lot of the time melting the paths that Iceman had laid. Team-work or counter-productivity? It could make flat-sharing very difficult.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 6/10

Spatz

SPATZ
Made by: Producers Group International/Thames TV
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1989-92

It is impossible to overestimate just how highly I rated this joint British and Canadian sitcom venture when I was a pre-teen, and I still think it remains one of the most vastly underrated and overlooked kids’ programmes of the last decade. And still it fell short of its potential because, with a few little tweaks, it would have made a successful crossover to mainstream adults’ viewing - how many children’s shows will handcuff their two leads together for the night?

Spatz was the zenith of Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro’s writing partnership (see also Mike and Angelo, T-Bag), a comedy inspired equally by British slapstick humour, and slick and innovative American programming like Moonlighting. To explain, Spatz was a fictitious Canadian fast-food restaurant chain, owned by millionaire Louis Frapelli, with its branch in central London the setting for the programme. The setting was normal, but the antics of the staff were not.

Canadian Karen Hansson (Jennifer Calvert), the Spatz European Co-ordinator, looked like a cross between Jerry Hall and Lauren Bacall dressed in a power-suit - but only someone with a death-wish would treat her as such. She was ruthless, power-obsessed and fierce, and nothing dared come between her and the precious dollar. Much to her chagrin, she was based in the London branch, which meant sharing a workspace with the branch manager, Thomas Jefferson ‘TJ’ Strickland, a fellow Canadian (played by Paul Michael.) And to her utter exasperation, the handsome and laid-back TJ was her complete antithesis: he was cool and calm, with a grin a mile wide, and although he was more than competent as a manager, TJ always put staff and customer welfare before money. Karen loathed his jokes, his flippancy and the fact that he never rose to her bait - but when these two argued, you could be mistaken for thinking you were watching David Addison and Maddie Hayes. Karen had a number of set phrases, including “Strickland! Office! Now!” and “You’re not funny, Strickland”, and thought nothing of throwing him out of his own office; but she really saw red when faced with TJ’s sometime girlfriend, Julie (Catherine Russell.) The sexual tension between TJ and his boss was unmistakable, and although Karen informed him that she’d “rather put my hand down a camel’s throat than touch you”, the series bowed out with a kiss under the mistletoe - although, admittedly, there was a degree of reluctance on Karen’s part.

Down on the shop floor the Brits ruled the roost. Among the burger-flippers was Dexter Williams (Vas Blackwood), who would do anything to further his career prospects and become Assistant Manager, and his friend, Vince Powers (Joe Greco), a cockney chancer, with a trick up his sleeve for every hour of the day. They were largely kept in check by the girls: there was the eminently sensible Debbie Wesley (Stephanie Charles), Lily Quang (Ling Tai), a politically-minded, bright girl working to pay for her university course, and Jo Collins (Sue Devaney), a cheeky northerner who could give as much lip - and trouble - as she got. The team was completed by Stanley Rydale (Jonathan Copestake), who was extremely earnest, but also extremely dense, and was usually three hours behind everyone else. When Jo left after the first series, she was replaced by Fiona ‘Freddy’ Reddy (Katy Murphy), a mad Celtic FC fan who dealt out as much Scots doom and superstition as Dad’s Army’s Private Frazer.

The plot-lines were wildly implausible, and seemed to get more surreal as the series progressed, but the often razor-sharp repartee made every episode of Spatz a great piece of comedy. Over the three years, the staff were the target of local mobsters, lost their restaurant in a bet to the local rivals, Blimpy’s, transformed Spatz into a medieval-style eaterie for American tourists, battled a fire that Karen caused accidentally with a toaster, were hit by radical environmental protesters and hosted a ballroom dancing contest, a wedding reception, and a junior talent competition. And that wasn’t the half of it. The only downside to the show, as with Pressman and Cathro’s other offerings, was the persistent and liberal use of canned laughter.

A number of unlikely actors made appearances during the three series of Spatz, including Gary Lineker (chronic acting, by the way), Nicholas Parsons, and Terry Hall with Lenny the Lion. Some subsequently successful actors also found their way to the big time via this fast-food joint: Danny John-Jules twice played self-confessed superhero, Captain Electric, while holding down jobs on Red Dwarf and Maid Marian; Samantha Janus appeared briefly as a love-interest for Vince; David Harewood appeared on and off as Debbie’s bumbling, clueless fiancé, Derek Puley; and Rhys Ifans got his break as a Welsh builder who briefly romanced Freddy. Vas Blackwood, of course, has latterly appeared in such films as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) and Mean Machine (2001), while Sue Devaney found further success on BBC’s Casualty and dinnerladies, and Jennifer Calvert returned to Canada and a regular gig on the comedy The Chris Isaak Show.

Just don’t eat the Ocean Spatz.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 10/10

(Thanks to David's fantastic Spatz website, the only one on the web, for the borrowed pic of Jennifer Calvert as Karen Hansson - google 'Spatz' to find it)

The Sooty Show

THE SOOTY SHOW
Made by: BBC/Granada TV
Shown on: BBC/ITV
Years shown: 1954 - 2001 (?)

Few television shows - aimed at children or otherwise - can boast the staying-power of Britain’s favourite yellow glove puppet, and his assistants. Back in the pioneering days of television, a balding Harry Corbett stood behind a counter in his smart suit, with Sooty on one hand and Sweep on the other, chatting to them and the children at home, and doing basic magic tricks with Sooty. Sooty, for anyone who has somehow missed this televisual phenomenon, was a yellow bear puppet with black ears, who didn’t speak, but whispered into this puppeteer’s ear instead. Despite his silence, you always knew what he was saying, and he came across as both shrewd and cheeky. Then there was Sweep, introduced a few years later - a grey dog puppet with floppy black ears, who squeaked expressively and came across as rash, brash and a bit of a dunce . Sooty, as previously mentioned, was capable of feats of magic, and had his own wand and magic spell, namely, “Izzy, wizzy, let’s get busy!”

When Corbett died, the business was taken over by his bearded son, Matthew, who looked after Sooty right up until the mid nineties. Sooty was by now set in a house, where Corbett lived with Sooty and Sweep, and also Soo, a white panda bear who - horror of horrors! - actually spoke, which made her far more irritating than the others. Soo was a bit of a moralising know-all, who was forever warning Matthew against doing stupid things (they formed the crux of the show, didn’t she realise?) and telling Sooty and Sweep off for various pranks and misdeeds. This unusual family was occasionally visited by Connie, a middle-aged woman who seemed to love this strange household (perhaps she was Matthew’s social worker, checking up on how he was coping), and then permanently joined by a fourth puppet, Scampy. Scampy was Sooty’s little cousin, and was dressed in school uniform to show how young he was, but nobody seemed to notice that the others were actually totally naked. The Matthew Corbett years were a lot more lively, with none of the constrictions his father had, and there was a lot of scope for farce - being soaked by hoses, gunged by the contents of blenders, and splattered with custard pies were all par for the course. And the same formula never really became tired.

In later series, the gang moved and ran a junk shop, which became the primary set, although they also had a van, and would drive around the town. Occasions like this would mean that we would see Sooty and Sweep’s feet for the first time in over forty years, which was almost a cheeky wink at older siblings who might upset their younger brothers and sisters by saying, “Yeah, but they’re just puppets”.

Sooty is still alive and well in cartoon format these days, but can you remember that the original programme once boasted an unlikely early appearance by comedian Rory McGrath, in a diving suit, no less?!

SQUARE EYES RATING: 6/10

(Thanks to www.bbc.co.uk for the borrowed pic)