You and Me

YOU AND ME
Made by: ?
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1970s-1980s
Theme tune: “You and me, me and you, lots and lots for us to do/Lots and lots for us to see…”

Far inferior to Words & Pictures, You and Me had done itself a disfavour after only two minutes into the show, thanks to the infuriating ‘hello’ sequence, where the presenters greeted absolutely everybody who could conceivably be watching: boys, girls, mums and dads (both unemployed of course, judging by the time of day), childminders, grannies, granddads, uncles, aunts, the neighbour’s cat, the man who sells dishcloths door to door - you get the picture. The programme was supposed to be educational, but I can mainly remember it for Cosmo and Dibs, the two puppet creatures who sat behind a wall in what looked like a rubbish dump or the communal area of a run-down inner-city council estate. They had the collective intelligence of an amoeba, but their learning process was supposed to enable us at home to extend our knowledge. Strangely, the only other strong memory is of an animated kangaroo, who would bound off at the end of the programme, with someone adding, “toodle-oo from the kangaroo!” I’m still waiting for the educational benefits to kick in. Even more bizarrely, Oasis ripped off the You and Me theme lyrics in their song She’s Electric, from the What’s the Story, Morning Glory album. Talk about desperate.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 3/10

(Thanks to www.tvradiobits.co.uk for the borrowed pic)

Words and Pictures

WORDS AND PICTURES
Made by: BBC
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: late '70s-early '80s

In its original and best format, Words & Pictures, a programme for pre-schoolers, was set in a public library, and presented by the slightly prim Vicki Ireland. She was the librarian, and was plagued by a floating cartoon-being named Charlie, who had an unquenchable thirst for learning letters, numbers and all kinds of other things that infants are supposed to learn. Every so often, a line of very well-behaved children would file into the library and do some activities, which would inevitably involve Charlie ending up covered in Bostik or glitter. There would be an animation of a well-known story, and then it would be time for the Magic Pencil, which mesmerised children up and down the country. The Magic Pencil had a light on the end of it, and would write without aid on a black background; it taught you how to write different letters, and reminded you that it was “top to bottom, up and over.” Afterwards, there would be another story, which heavily featured the letter you had just learnt, which would appear highlighted. I could have watched an entire show devoted entirely to the Magic Pencil.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 5/10

Woof!

WOOF!
Made by: ?
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1989-95

This long-running children’s comedy-drama was based on a book by Allan Ahlberg, and concerned an ordinary schoolboy called Eric Banks, who had an extraordinary gift and encumbrance. Without warning, Eric (played by the aptly-named Edward Fidoe) would start itching and would shortly after turn into a dog, abandoning his clothes wherever it happened. There was no apparent reason for this. His parents (John Bowler and Elizabeth Mickery) had no idea about their son’s double life, and the only person who was in the know was his best friend, Roy Ackerman (Thomas Aldwinckle.) Together, they had to keep the secret from everyone, becoming increasingly inventive in their lying; although they often raised the suspicions of their teacher Mrs Jessop (Liza Goddard.) Otherwise, they were normal kids, and had their own garden hide-out, where they communicated by Morse code and could tell when there were any adults approaching.

The dog who played Eric in his canine form was actually female, and had already found fame as the dog who could apparently say ‘sausages’. When Roy and his family moved away, Eric was only alone briefly, before making friends with the new girl at school, Rachel Hobbs (Sarah Smart), with whom he shared his secret. And just as suddenly as his ‘ability’ came on, it disappeared when he was about 15, and began to have more than just a friendship with Rachel. Puppy love - it’ll never last, of course. Woof! was, like all of Ahlberg’s works, charming and very in tune with children’s interests and thinking; Edward Fidoe was a sympathetic and cheeky lead, and even Liza Give Us a Clue Goddard was quite realistic as the kindly teacher.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 8/10

(Thanks to www.andrewnorriss.co.uk for the borrowed pic)