Mike and Angelo

MIKE AND ANGELO
Made by: Thames
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1989-98

One of television’s greatest mysteries has to be how Mike and Angelo kept being given the green light for another new series. Conceived and written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro (see also The Amazing Adventures of T-Bag and Spatz), this kids’ comedy show started off harmlessly enough, with American writer Rita King (Shelley Thompson) divorcing her husband, Tony, and moving herself and her young son, Mike, to a ramshackle old house in the Home Counties.

Mike is not pleased with this change of scene, until he opens the old wardrobe in his room and discovers Angelo, a humanoid who fled from his planet when it began to self-destruct. Of course, Mike has to introduce his alien buddy to his aghast mom, but when she adapts to the idea of a lodger, it all becomes a bit like Mork & Mindy (minus the romance aspect between the leads, of course.) During the first few years, Mike was played by Matt Wright, who I thought was rather cute when I was ten, and the agreeable Tyler Butterworth was in the role of zany, trouble-making Angelo. But it was all change when Mike returned to the USA after the third series; and when his character returned, he was replaced by not-so-cute Michael Benz, who was clearly a good few years younger; and what’s more, Tim Whitnall (now totally bald, btw) took on the guise of Angelo.

Because Mike and Angelo went on for so long, toothy Michael Benz also outgrew the role, and Steven Geller was brought in as the new Mike, but the series was a limping dog by this stage, and the only humane thing would have been to shoot it on the spot. The problem with Mike and Angelo, aside from the irritating canned laughter, was that I suspect the writers came up with the neat title first, and then thought about what they might do with it. The initial premise was not a bad one, but how many low-grade adventures can a boy and his alien have?

SQUARE EYES RATING: 4/10

Masterteam

MASTERTEAM
Made by: BBC
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1984-6

It took me a long time to remember what this quiz was called, which is probably down to the fact that the title was somewhat of a misnomer. This was basically a pub quiz on TV, hosted by Angela Rippon rather than the publican’s wife, and the teams all had rubbish names, like Blyth Battlers, or West Hastings Bowls Club. Angela Rippon always seemed a bit refined for this sort of malarkey, and looked slightly on edge while she tried to hold the fort.

The first round was the Team Challenge, which was a quick-fire round, intended as a team effort. This was followed by Spotlight, where the team would choose a member of the opposition (who they thought was a dunce) to answer a question from a selection of subject categories, including history, sport, and the bewildering ‘pot pourri’ which was, according to Angela, “a tough general knowledge round.” This still meant nothing to a five year old. Once they’d survived this, there was In A Spin, where the teams were given 3 randomly selected letters, and had to come up with the longest word, using the letters in the order they appeared (eg. if it was C, V and L, you could have ‘Conversational’) This was a bit much for the average pub-quizzer. Finally, there was It’s All Yours, another question round but this time it was fingers-on-the-buzzers, and - ooh! - there was no conferring allowed.

For completists out there, the winning teams from the three series were Warrington Sports Club, Antrim Coasters, and Carrick Plus One (who sound like an eighties pop combo.) But in the end, this poor-quality imitation of one of the great British pursuits was axed in favour of another old favourite, Neighbours, which is still in the same slot to this day, making the chances of a Masterteam comeback fairly remote.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 5/10
(Thanks to www.ukgameshows.com for the borrowed pic)

Maid Marian and Her Merry Men

MAID MARIAN AND HER MERRY MEN
Made by: BBC
Shown on: BBC1
Years shown: 1989-94

Theme tune: “Why don’t you carry on with what you’re doing/Cos there’s always trouble brewing/You’ve got to find a way to make a better day/Oh, Marian…”

Maid Marian makes an entry in here by the width of a well-placed arrow, as it seems just yesterday when I saw it (it probably was, knowing the BBC’s repeats schedule.) Devised and written by Tony Robinson (of Blackadder fame), this was a twist on the story of Nottingham’s most famous man in tights - the twist being that Robin Hood was a lazy, yuppie coward, and it was his feisty girlfriend who did all the work.

The cool-talking, tomboyish Marian (Kate Lonergan) lived near the peasants’ village of Worksop, with her band of Merry Men, a group of assorted and easy-going mercenaries. Technically, she was going out with Robin (Wayne Morris), but with his long hair and fear of any kind of conflict, the romance factor was nil. He was actually a tailor from Kensington who seemed to be an early Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen prototype. The rest of the gang were Barrington, a Rastafarian (Danny John-Jules); slow-witted, foul-smelling Rabies (Howard Lew Lewis) and Little Ron, a tough dwarf (Mike Edmonds.) Together they fought the forces of evil, and robbed from the rich, namely the vicious King John (Forbes Collins), and those who did his dirty work: the conniving Sheriff of Nottingham (Tony Robinson) and his guard henchmen, Gary (Mark Billingham) and Graeme (David Lloyd.) To be honest, the Sheriff never stood a chance, especially as he was constantly having to take time out to placate the King’s nephew, the incredibly childish/camp Guy of Gisborne (Ramsay Gilderdale), who was the royal, medieval equivalent of Violet Elizabeth Bott.

Maid Marian and Her Merry Men was an award-winning programme, and deservedly so. It was like Blackadder for kids, and it had a fantastic range of characters. Marian was the ultimate example of female empowerment, and Robin was the perfect example of why some women consider themselves better off alone. Barrington was always on hand to provide a rap interpretation of events, and the Sheriff was so venal and so driven that you almost wanted him to succeed. Tony Robinson’s portrayal of Worksop as a village of idiots (including Gladys, played by Hilary Mason, and Snooker, played by Robin Chandler) with nothing for industry but mud, and the odd chicken, was effortlessly funny, and no doubt pretty accurate too.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 8/10