Ivor the Engine

IVOR THE ENGINE
Made by: Smallfilms
Shown on: ITV, then BBC
Years shown: 1959-63 and then 1976-7 (and repeats)

Wales. A giant of a nation. Where else could give us Tom Jones, Bonnie Tyler, Shakin’ Stevens, and Shirley Bassey, plus leeks, endless jokes about sheep and inbreeding, and long, unpronounceable place names? And where else could Oliver Postgate and Peter Firmin choose to set this likeable, if low-key, yarn about a country railway? Somewhere “in the top left-hand corner of Wales” was the Merioneth and Llantisily Rail Traction Co. Ltd, the owners of Ivor the Engine, a lumbering vintage green train which served the people at Llaniog Station. Ivor the Engine was full of folk who seemed only to have one name, and who were consequently distinguished by their professions: Jones the Steam, (Ivor’s faithful driver), Dai the Station master, Owen the Signal, and Williams the Head Office (was he the entire Head Office?). Just when you thought the Welsh stereotypes couldn’t get any more extreme, they branched out into the village, where you could find Evans the Song, the choirmaster of the Grumbly and District Choral Society; Hughes the Gasworks, and Mrs Griffiths, the chair of the Antiquarian Society. There was also a donkey called Bluebell in there somewhere…but no sheep. But what made Ivor magical and raised him from the sprawling masses of working engines was the source of his steam-power. He was powered by the fire-breathing of the local Welsh dragon, Idris, who was stowed in the furnace, and who was a lot cheaper than hiring a couple of men to stoke the thing every five minutes. With Ivor the Engine, Smallfilms paved the way for other animators, who also created gentle adventures out of village life,
such as Pigeon Street, Postman Pat and, later on, another Welsh Wonder, Fireman Sam.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 3/10

(Thanks to www.smallfilms.co.uk for the borrowed pic)

Inspector Gadget

INSPECTOR GADGET
Made by: D.I.C.
Shown on: ITV?
Years shown: 1983 onwards

Everyone remembers the opening titles to Inspector Gadget, with the titular sleuth climbing out of a manhole and demonstrating his vast arsenal of implements, to the theme music chant of “Go, Gadget, go!” It was the novelty of Gadget’s endless supply of ingenious appendages that kids thought was so fantastic - just as well this was sufficient distraction, because Gadget himself was a useless detective. The story went that he was once an ordinary human being, but one day he slipped on a banana skin and did himself a nasty injury - so instead of prescribing bed-rest and some Ibuprofen, the surgeons decided on the rather extreme option of putting him back together with gadgets, such as extendible limbs, and a set of helicopter blades folded into his hat. Just hope he was consulted first. Gadget’s boss was just known as Chief, and he was always blowing himself up with the self-destructing letters (although no-one offered to turn him into a cyborg); and his great enemy was Dr Claw, with his over-fed cat (maybe Claw’s first name was Henry…?), and the self-explanatory MAD agency. Gadget may have been an ineffectual cop, but his cases were resolved thanks to his know-all niece, Penny, with her proto-laptop, and his faithful dog, Brain, who always came off worst in any skirmish.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 5/10

Henry's Cat

HENRY'S CAT
Made by: Bob Godfrey
Shown on: BBC1
Years shown: 1983 onwards
Theme tune: “He knows everything about nothing/And not too much about that/Hen-e-ry, Hen-er-y, you must know Hen-e-ry’s Cat”

One day at school, when I was eight, we had to write about our favourite and worst TV programmes. My worst was Henry’s Cat. It frustrated and annoyed me. Bob Godfrey’s workshop had already made the acclaimed weird-fest, Roobarb and Custard, as well as Noah and Nelly in the seventies, but now he was running out of ideas. I was a practical child who liked rational explanations and straight-forward answers; so who the hell was Henry? Why did we never see him? Did he know what his flea-bitten moggy was getting up to? Well. Henry was a bright yellow cat, not too intelligent, who used to say “Owww” a lot. His best friend was the delightfully-named Chris Rabbit, blue in colour, but there was also Douglas Dog, Denise Duck, Ted Tortoise, Sammy Snail, Pansy Pig, Mosey Mouse and the exotic-sounding - but actually quite xenophobic when you think about it - Philippe Frog. Keeping law and order around the place, and doing a pretty below-par job of it, were Constable Bulldog and the cruel Farmer Giles. All kinds of wild escapades were embarked upon, with Henry locking paws with the world’s only intelligent sheep, Rum Baa Baa; but they usually turned out to be daydreams, and in fact the animals had spent all day lazing around the garden, which was also a common twist with the kids in Fame too.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 2/10

(Thanks to www.henryscat.com for the borrowed pic)