The Wombles

THE WOMBLES
Made by: Filmfair
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1973-75 (original series), plus repeats

Theme tune: “Underground, over-ground, wombling free/The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we/Making good use of the things that we find/Things that the everyday folk leave behind.”

With scripts by Elizabeth Beresford, and narration by Bernard Cribbins, The Wombles is quite rightly won of the most beloved of British television programmes. They were a group of furry creatures who lived on Wimbledon Common, and collected and recycled litter that the park-users discarded. Fortunately for the government, their popularity coincided with a national Keep Britain Tidy campaign.

The patriarch of the operation was Great Uncle Bulgaria, who had named each of the young ones after an obscure place on his world map: Tobermory (in the Scottish isles), Orinoco (an Amazonian river), Wellington (a city in New Zealand), Bungo (Bungo-Suido is a strait in Japan), and Tomsk (in the former USSR.) Madame Cholet (named after a town in France) was the resident mother-figure, and doled out the chores to everyone, while she got on with the housework. Tobermory was the handyman, Tomsk was the greedy food-obsessive, Wellington was the clever one and wore glasses to prove it, Bungo was an idiot, and Orinoco was an even bigger idiot. Lots of children could identify with Orinoco because he always tried to bunk off his work, and was a eternal scruff-bucket.

The Wombles were sweet without being sickly, there was enough in it for adults to be kept amused for its duration, and the theme was great - except that I thought that the lyrics implied that the Wombles were from Wimbledon and they were common, not that they were from Wimbledon Common. In 1974, The Wombles’ were hijacked by writer and producer Mike Batt, and went on to have a number of hit records, the most recent in December 2000. Remember-member-member what a Womble Womble Womble you are….

SQUARE EYES RATING: 8/10

(Thanks to www.scuzz.com for the borrowed pic)

Wizbit

WIZBIT
Made by: ?
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1986-7
Theme tune: “Ha ha, this-a-way/Ha ha, that-a-way/Ha ha this-a-way/My oh my!”

The names Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee usually strike horror into the hearts of all patriotic Brits. The famous, short-statured magician should never have been let anywhere near children’s television, but the fact remains that he was, and this was what he came up with (Debbie was responsible for that oh so striking theme song.)

Each episode was 'introduced' by Daniels from his dressing room at Paul's Playhouse (possibly the only place that would give him work these days); he'd do a few tricks and tell the viewers a story about Wizbit.

Wizbit was a yellow, conical shaped magician who came from WOW (World of Wizards, or world of anything else you can think of that begins with ‘w’), but now lived in Puzzleopolous. He was friends with a giant rabbit called Woollie, and lived near Squidgy Bog, a purple jive-talking bog who I used to be quite wary of. Wizbit’s enemy was Professor Doom, who lived in a giant fist in the sky (?!) with his cat, Jinx; and if he wasn’t braving his wrath, he was being challenged to solve riddles by the stingy, jobsworth gate-keeper at Puzzle Gate. Puzzleopolous was not somewhere to be recommended as a holiday resort: aside from the uninviting bog, the locals were seriously weird; there were supposed comedians, Spoof and Bluff (who looked like Marcel Marceau and Oliver Hardy), melancholy clown Pierre-oh, Grocer Green, and Madame Martinka, the town’s resident Mystic Meg. Run for the hills.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 3/10

Wiz

WIZ
Made by: BBC?
Shown on: BBC1
Years shown: 1984

Scottish presenter, Kate Copstick, starred as Wiz, a silver robot/alien in this odd and educationally-slanted programme. She lived in an entirely black studio, and was given puzzles to complete by her computer, which you were supposed to care about enough to join in with at home. There was also a dire rap, called ‘Do the Biz with Wiz’. I remember thinking Wiz was a bit dull, but what put me off it for good was that, when watching it, I accidentally switched the TV volume to maximum, which scared me silly, and I forever associated Wiz with this nasty incident of my childhood.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 1/10