Supergran

SUPERGRAN
Made by: Tyne Tees
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1985-87

Theme tune: “Stand back Superman, Iceman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin too/Don’t want to cause a ruckus for BA Baracus/But I’ve got a match for you…”

Based on books by Forrest Wilson, Supergran was a comedy adventure series about the most unlikely of superheroes - and you thought Wonder Woman was implausible. Supergran (Gudrun Ure) had accidentally acquired astonishing super-powers, and became a match for any villain lurking the streets of her home town of Chisleton. Despite Supergran having a Scottish accent, the fictional Chisleton was actually located in Tynemouth, a coastal town not too far from Newcastle…and closer still to my own home.

In fact, Supergran’s unusual method of transport, her Flycycle (actually a converted butcher’s boy bike), was long on display in The Land of Green Ginger, a converted church-cum-shopping centre in Tynemouth centre.

Anyway, enough of my exciting local heritage. The man responsible for Supergran’s inhuman abilities was Inventor Black (Bill Shine), and he was helped out by his young assistant, Edison (Holly English, and later Samantha Duffy), who was also pals with the septuagenarian law-enforcer; as was Willard (Ian Towell), an oik in a bobble hat. On the other side of the law, Supergran’s chief nemesis was The Scunner Campbell (Iain Cuthbertson), with his nephew, Tub (Lee Marshall) and his henchmen, The Muscles (Alan Snell and Brian Lewis.)

Supergran was a Sunday teatime favourite, with its blend of unashamed comedy and light drama, and it attracted an unprecedented amount of celebrities, to all appearances clambering over each other for a guest appearance. To name but a few, there was Billy Connolly (who sung the theme tune), Mike Elphick, Spike Milligan, Tim Healy, Lulu, Gary Glitter (oh dear), George Best and Eddie Kidd, all hoping they wouldn’t emerge as the most wooden.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 4/10

(Thanks to www.bbc.co.uk for the borrowed pic.)

Stoppit and Tidyup

STOPPIT AND TIDYUP
Made by: ?
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1987, plus repeats

Absurd doesn’t even begin to describe this five minute Terry Wogan-narrated cartoon, with a vaguely environmental message. It was set in the somewhat oppressive land of Do-As-You’re-Told, where Stoppit (a furry ball who got accidentally squashed a lot) and his pal Tidyup (a foghorn-voiced blue thing with purple hair) lived. That was about it. There would usually be a minor story involved, such as the characters solving a puzzle, but it relied on the outlandishness and peculiarity of its boundless range of support characters. They were as follows: Comb-Your-Hair (with his eyes obscured by a fringe), Wash-Your-Face (filthy, of course), Hurry-Up (an orange ball of harassed energy), Go-And-Play (who wore a nappy and had lots of nursery toys), “poor little” Calm-Down (who brandished an umbrella), “nasty little” Not-Now, Bee-Have and Bee-Quiet (mutated bees, funnily enough), “sleepy old” Go-To-Bed (perennially tired), Don’t-Do-That (some kind of itchy-looking red insect), Take-Care (purple and anxious looking), Clean-Your-Teeth (with an unnervingly big smile), and a whole tribe of Sit-Downs. Best of all though, was the furious Big Bad I-Said-No, who was bright red and about to blow his top. Stoppit and Tidyup was absolute nonsense, and I can’t do it full justice on paper because it is simply impossible to recreate those weird noises that each character had. Halfway between Edward Lear and a very nasty experiment with hallucinogens, it was just about tongue-in-cheek enough to make watching it a repeatable experience.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 5/10

(Thanks to www.toonhound.com for the borrowed pic)

Stop That Laughing at the Back

STOP THAT LAUGHING AT THE BACK
Made by: Granada
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1987

This thirty minute sketch show was one of a number of short-lived experiments on CITV in the mid 1980s, in the same vein as Your Mother Wouldn’t Like It. On a good day, it was trying to be anarchical in a watered-down Spitting ImageBlue Peter. kind of a way, and it relied largely on the universal agreement among pre and early teens that both parents and teachers are crap and seriously uncool. It starred Paul Bradley, Michael Fenton Stevens, Jo Unwin, Nimmy March and also featured - for some undisclosed reason - the pop duo Hue and Cry; and it included a slot called ‘Aw, I’m Not Doing That!’, which was an advice column for getting out of doing household chores. This show was part of why most parents switched the television to BBC and then removed the batteries from the remote, so their children would be forced to watch

SQUARE EYES RATING: 2/10

(Thanks to www.mikefs.co.uk for the borrowed pic)