Dangermouse

DANGERMOUSE
Made by: Cosgrove Hall
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1981-83 and onwards

Theme tune: “London: home of the cockney, the winkle stall, the Thames gas board and, in a quiet Mayfair pillar-box, the world’s greatest detective, Dangermouse, and his faithful assistant, Penfold”…
and ”Dangermouse….amazing! Dangermouse…astounding!”

This terribly British cartoon, made on a very low budget, starred David Jason as London’s most famous rodent sleuth, Dangermouse. The show was a clever pastiche of the Patrick McGoohan series, Dangerman, other British detective shows like The Avengers and The Man from UNCLE, Sherlock Holmes himself, and all those Marvel comic books.

Dangermouse or DM, as he was known by his friends, was a white mouse with an eye-patch, who lived under a post-box on Baker Street. He was aided by his speccy mole sidekick in ill-fitting suits, Penfold (voiced by Terry Scott), whose catch phrase was always “Crumbs, DM!”, whenever they got into a tight spot. They worked for Colonel K, and fought against Baron Greenback, a toad, and the International Conference of Evil-doers, who, I suppose, were at least honest about their intentions. Unfortunately for Greenback, he was reliant on his henchman, Stiletto the crow, and a white furry thing called Nero.

Dangermouse had that magic cross-over appeal to adults, with its quick wit and accurate parody, despite the blatant use of stock animation material to save time and money.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 7/10

(Thanks to www.internationalhero.co.uk for the borrowed pic)

Crystal Tipps and Alastair

CRYSTAL TIPPS AND ALASTAIR
Made by: Q3 London
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1971 onwards

No-one needs to tell you when this animated series was made - it gives itself away in ten seconds. Crystal Tipps was a girl with big frizzy hair, who lived with her dog, Alastair. Alastair lived pretty much as a human would, including eating with cutlery at the table - the whole thing was so suspect that some have even speculated that Alastair was a little more than just a girl’s best friend. Ahem.

There were an impressive fifty of these five-minute episodes made, and never a word was spoken - the characters were mute, and there was no narration. Just surreal hallucinogenic adventures in a brightly coloured fantastical world. A case in point would be an episode where Alastair brings Crystal a giant egg, which then hatches into a crazy, psychedelic bird. Like, far out....

Just for the record, I’m including this show mainly because I have a friend who has achieved the rare feat of growing her hair like Crystal Tipps.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 3/10

(Thanks to www.sausagenet.com for the borrowed pic)

The Clangers

THE CLANGERS
Made by: Smallfilms
Shown on: BBC
Years shown: 1969-74 and then repeated ad infinitum

Children of the early eighties can just about remember the repeats of this absolute gem of children’s programming, which is rivalled in people’s affections only by Bagpuss. Both programmes were, of course, from the Oliver Postgate and Peter Firmin camp, and The Clangers was equally infused with priceless imagination, gentle humour and whimsy. But what were the Clangers? They were bright pink alien beings, who looked like a cross between mice and piglets, and who lived on their own dark and crater-filled planet; they lived in subterranean caves, the entrances of which were protected by dustbin lids, which clanged when shut, thus giving the creatures their name.

They were the perfect example of a loving family: there was Major Clanger, Mother Clanger (she wore the apron), Small Clanger and Tiny Clanger, and they all communicated in a high-pitched whistling language (actually produced by Swannee whistles.) The Clangers weren’t alone in their universe. The Soup Dragon was a benevolent green beast who, as its name suggests, made soup, which - along with blue string pudding - formed a staple part of the Clangers diet. The soup was brewed in volcanic wells, an option never available to Delia Smith.

There were also the Froglets, bulbous, orange creatures with protruding eyes, who travelled through space in a top hat, and the trumpet-like Hoots. An Iron Chicken was found in pieces and reassembled, and once laid an egg which hatched into a friend for Tiny Clanger. Finally, there were bizarre blue Skymoos; and Glow Buzzers, which were the source of light in the caves.

The Clangers was launched in the months following Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin’s historic moon walk, and the creatures actually found an American flag left behind on their planet, which the inventive Mother Clanger turned into a table-cloth. Always making sure to keep abreast of current affairs, The Clangers even had a one-off election night special, Vote for Froglet!, on October 10^th 1974 (which has never been repeated since.)

The animation was filmed in Peter Firmin’s barn, and the planet was made of polystyrene and plaster of Paris, which the Clangers’ feet could be easily nailed to. The Clangers themselves were knitted by Mrs Firmin, and had a framework made of Meccano, wood, and brass ball-joints. According to Oliver Postgate, the knitted results “smell, not unpleasantly, of ripe melons”, which is obviously what all good aliens should smell of.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 9/10

(Thanks to www.dropping-clangers.co.uk for the borrowed pic)