WAC-a-Day

WAC-A-DAY
Made by: ?
Shown on: ITV
Years shown: 1985-91

Theme tune: “It’s WAC-a-Day, no school today, so what ya going to do?/Forget your chores, throw on some clothes (?), here’s what we’ve got for you/Oh, WAC-a-Day/What’s that?/Wait and see who’s on/Join now, stay tuned/Okay, let’s go!/It’s WAC-a-Day!”

WAC stood for Wide Awake Club, of which this show was a daytime spin-off, geared at lethargic children in their pyjamas, bored out of their brains in the school holidays. It was presented by none other than Timmy Mallett, along with his cockatoo, Magic, who always looked as though the whole thing was too much for him, and that he might drop off his perch at any moment. Timmy should need no introduction: he was an ageless maniac who was born to present children’s TV, and he personified the word ‘wacky’. He had a vast collection of ridiculous pairs of specs, he usually wore those luminous Bermuda shorts made fashionable by the mid eighties, and he often wore two baseball caps at the same time (twin peaks - it was a joke, see?) There would be cartoons like Go-Bots and Galaxy High School, countless rounds of Mallett’s Mallet (“It’s-a-word-assocation-game-where-you-mustn’t-pause-and-you-mustn’t-hesitate-repeat-a-word-or-say-a-word-I-don’t-like-or-you’ll-get-a-bash-on-the-head-like-this-or-like-this-look-at-each-other-and-go-bleeurgh-look-at-the-audience-at-home-and-go-bleeurgh”) where the loser got a sticking plaster to place on any part of the anatomy and wave to the folks at home with, and there was even an expedition to Kenya, where Timmy taught us all to say ‘Jambo’, and painted a lot of actually very good landscapes.

Because it was the school hols, there was a Holiday Postcards slot, and there were other ‘features’ like Wactors and Wactresses, The Manic Minute, and the WAC-saw Puzzle. Fingers In Your Ears Time gave kids the opportunity to show off their usually-limited singing talents, and Drop Your Toast was an attempt to make some unsuspecting child do exactly that by mentioning them live on national television.

Yes, Timmy Mallett was an assault on the senses in all possible ways, and you couldn’t help feeling sorry that he couldn’t get a real job where he didn’t have to leap about the place like a child with Attention Deficiency Disorder - but the fact is that there is absolutely no substitute for him. Since he retired to Timmy Towers, nobody on children’s television has matched him for sheer enthusiasm and passion for entertaining. Mind you, enough is enough.

SQUARE EYES RATING: 7/10